anxiety, anxiety relief, camp, childhood, children, co-parenting, dad, day camp, divorce, fathers, kids, marriage, mom, mothers, narcissism, parenting, parents, sleep away camp, soccer, stress, stress relief, teams, tournament
I know I’m going to get a lot of pushback on this one, but I can’t seem to stop myself from needing to vent this out!! I will qualify all by saying that I am very blessed to be in the situation that I am with my life and my kids. I have the wonderful ability to be there for them (even when they may not want me to), but the best part of it, is that I WANT to be there! You know why? I like my kids! Sure, I love a break, and my time alone and all that, but really, my kids are pretty cool and I like hanging out with them. Also, there is some tremendous satisfaction watching them grow and interact with others and being there when they screw up and make bad choices. My childhood was anything but easy, but compared to some horrors I’ve heard of, it was pretty mild. I love knowing that my kids experience will be different, and better, for sure. This takes us to this morning where I will gladly set the scene for you and give you a better idea of what my kids childhood looks like. Two out of three kids are home doing a soccer day camp (the oldest is still at sleep away.) Last night, the two youngest were at their Dad’s house, as per our family schedule. This morning, their Dad brings them to my place to get their soccer gear, and me. I pile in to the car right along with them to drop them off at camp. Most of this is just ease because my ex can stay in the car while I walk the boys into the park, and the rest of it is because my kids are just damned lucky that my ex and I have a great co-parenting relationship/friendship. I also needed to sign my little one up for the afternoon soccer tournament, which is a blast to watch because the kids and the coaches get so into it, and any team sport always offers some sort of learning opportunity. Again, I am blessed that I am able to be there in the afternoon to watch the tournament, but again, I wouldn’t want to miss it! There I am filling out the form and paying the fee when I hear a mother next to me ask in an exasperated tone “Do I have to be at the tournament, or can I just come when it’s over?” I couldn’t help myself when I turned to get a look at this woman, who clearly sounded like she was looking for any excuse to not have to show up until the last possible moment, and I said “It’s so fun to watch!” Needless to say, I don’t think I’ve ever seen “bitchy” come across in a look as well as I did in that moment. And there you have my ire! Now of course, it’s entirely possible that she has an ailing parent at home and she never gets any rest and she hasn’t had a shower in days (her hair was indicative, and yes I’m being really catty now), and maybe, just maybe she was hoping to use that extra time to feed the homeless or go downtown and give out clean needles to substance users. Maybe, just maybe, she needed to get her ailing cat to the vet for chemo treatments, or cook a big batch of stew to feed her elderly neighbor. Or maybe, just maybe, she’s a narcissist and has no idea what the face of her child looks like when he/she scores a goal and realizes there’s no one there to witness except a bunch of strangers.
Thank you as always for letting me release some steam, as I try hard to withhold judgement most of the time, or at least most of the time I do it rather quietly. There is no big lesson here folks, just try to love your kids as much as you can because at some point, you won’t get to squeeze and smush them and give them high-fives and kiss their boo-boos and watch their games, because they’ll be all grown up!
I could have used a Totem with me this morning to calm me down, thankfully I was able to take some deep breaths and repeat the rhyme that Totem Tamers offers as a guide to remaining calm. Do you need a reminder? Order a Totem today by clicking on any of the Totems on the page, and keep calm with you always.