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The Butterfly had become sort of a theme this week when I passed a dead butterfly on the street the other day. I wrote about how beautiful the butterfly looked even though it had passed. I contemplated the change that comes with death, whatever form that may be, and I offered “the butterfly” the chance to take me in flight and prepare me for the next change. Then we all shared in the tragic death of Robin Williams, and I referenced “the butterfly” yet again in a post. This time I still tried to look for the beauty and offered “the butterfly” the chance to take me to yet another flower. Well, I am starting to think “the butterfly” is a bitch. I just deleted this whole hokey, sentimental post about death and how the last couple days has brought a lot of it and I was trying to be all positive and bright and looking for the good, but you know what? It sucks! Saying goodbye is hard, it’s painful, and it’s not supposed to be beautiful, we can only hope it is peaceful. Don’t get me wrong, I am not giving up my rose-colored glasses just yet, because I can find the good so to speak. On Tuesday, we said goodbye to a family dog (my stepbrothers’) who was way too young, but was diagnosed with an illness that would have ultimately caused him tremendous suffering. On Wednesday, it was another family dog (my moms’) and he was really old and was struggling and although he would have happily chowed on a cheeseburger, Archie’s time had come. Ok, I said to “the butterfly”, I think we’re good now, we can rest for a bit. But no, that damned beautiful butterfly had other plans, and now we have to say goodbye to a dear family friend who never even got the chance to fight. I’m looking for the beauty, I swear, and ok fine, our friend was in some pain, and it would have gotten worse and we don’t want anyone to suffer, but come on!! So now I’m asking beautiful butterfly, can we please just admire you from afar for a bit? I get that change is good, even when it’s hard and painful, but there’s something very peaceful about just being still. I wish stillness for you all and the knowing that when “the butterfly” spreads her wings, there will be beauty in it, somewhere.

"The Butterfly"

“The Butterfly”