The title of this post holds the words of my beloved Grandma Selma. It didn’t really matter what preceded them, those were her words to live by. “Grandma, I just tripped and hit my head on the corner of the table and my forehead is split open and there is blood everywhere.” “Don’t think about it and it’ll go away.” Okay, so maybe that’s a bit of an extreme example, but you get the idea. Let me just say that as a kid (and even a bit as an adult,) this saying used to piss me off! It’s impossible not to think about whatever you are thinking about, as evidenced by the poem I shared the other day. We need to think about the things that hurt, whether physically or emotionally. We need to feel the reactions that come up when we hurt, and definitely notice them when we feel good! It’s easy for someone who isn’t experiencing what you are going through, to tell you not to dwell, to ignore, to relax, etc., but they don’t know what’s happening inside your head. One of our biggest ambitions with Totem Tamers is to let people know that it’s ok to feel anxious, it’s ok to feel fear, it’s ok to be scared and angry. When you give yourself permission to experience it, even in teeny doses, then you can process and move forward. When you express your fear or anger, you remove some of the power of the emotion, and then with the help of the simple techniques included in the booklet, you can feel less fear and less anger. We have to do this for ourselves mostly, as it’s hard for someone else to ease those sometimes very overwhelming feelings. There’s nothing worse than when you share a fear, like flying for example, and someone who thinks they are helping, offers you the statistic that you have more chances of dying in a car accident than in a plane crash. Really? You think that’s helpful? It might be to a person who doesn’t experience crippling anxiety, but someone prone to anxiety attacks is going to find that as useful as dear old Grandma Selma’s words. Now, Grandma Selma had a lot to say and she wasn’t afraid to speak her peace, whether to me, or any family member, or the editor of the local paper (she was published many times.) I loved that about her and even think I inherited a bit of that. There are some instances I guess, when her words could be helpful. For example, when I think to myself “Ugh, I really need to lose ten pounds.” I am more than happy to rejoice in Grandma’s support of “Don’t think about it and it’ll go away!”
To learn more about Totem Tamers, please visit our site at www.totemtamers.com.