anxiety, cancer, cheeseburger, colon cancer, colonoscopy, denial, doctor, double cheeseburger, gastrointestinal distress, health, IBS, laxative, lunch, mental-health, peace of mind, procedure, results, SAT, tom petty
Waiting is definitely an anxiety provoking exercise. It almost doesn’t matter what you’re waiting for. You could be waiting for the one you love to get home after a long business trip. You could be waiting for your SAT scores so you can prepare for college. You can be waiting for your double cheeseburger and fries during your extremely short lunch period. What am I waiting for you ask? I am waiting for the four laxatives I just took, in preparation for tomorrow’s colonoscopy, to kick in! Yeah fun! Seriously, knowing that within the next couple of hours I will also have to drink a ridiculous amount of liquid in which powder has been dissolved to help completely clean out my system is freaking me out! I have been through it before, many years ago, and I am not sure if the knowing what’s coming (out) is making it worse or better?! Somehow me writing this down for all of you is helping me, so thanks for giving me the outlet to talk about my crap, literally! Now you may be interested in why someone so young (ok whatever) is getting a colonoscopy, well I will tell you. I have had years and years of gastrointestinal distress which the doctor has recently diagnosed as IBS. There is also some unclear family history that may or may not include colon cancer (long story) so this is a big just in case and why the hell not procedure. For me, peace of mind means knowing everything I can. I know that doesn’t hold true for a lot of people who are more comfortable not knowing. I think this is referred to denial in a lot of cases. Either way, I am doing this because I have to, want to, need to, and my anxiety about the prep (which is worse than the procedure mind you) is not going to keep me from having a colonoscopy done which could potentially give me life saving results. Heck, sometimes peace of mind is life saving enough. Please, please, please, don’t let your anxiety get in the way of any health related concerns or issues. Take your totem, take some deep breaths, and take the next step in taking care of yourself.